Mad conversations with BT #2
"Oh hello. I'm just phoning to remind you about your outstanding bill with us of £102 and to ask you to make immediate arrangements to pay."
"Yes, I have, twice. Last quarter I cancelled my direct debit due to being in credit. This quarter, on receiving that bill, I phoned to set up a new direct debit. I was told to expect the mandate through the post. Three weeks ago I received a call like this one and heard that the new direct debit had NOT been set up for some reason, so I went through the process of setting up a new direct debit mandate with your company again. Now are you telling me that one hasn't been processed either? I think it has, because I got the paperwork this time."
"Hmmm. Let me check. Oh yes, I see there is a monthly payment of £38 coming out of your account on the 15th."
"That'd be the one."
"AND that you have a credit balance of £101."
"...... ...... ........ I have a credit balance of £101 and a debit balance of £102?"
"..... ...... ...... Why?"
"I don't know. I'll have to go and ask my superior."
"Wait a sec. How about you use my credit balance... to pay my debit balance?!"
"Ah yes ok, I can do that for you, yes."
"And here's another novel idea. You could do that every month!"
".... ..... Yes. OK. Thanks, Mrs Account Holder. Goodbye."
You know when you carefully replace the handset and wonder whether it's plausable that a whole conglomerate has lost its marbles? This was (another) one of those times. Maybe it's a conspiracy to drive us all mad.