I've nearly finished being an elf
Helping Santa find, buy, wrap, label and hide many presents for all one's children all without one's 4-year old noticing anything is not easy! It's times like that when I'll admit HEing single parenthood to be a bit of a challenge. But with a bit of help from my friends and some Christmas magic, I've managed :-) We've just got some cleaning and socialising to do now.
We've heard from lots of people who haven't been in touch for months and years, including several old friends who obviously need bringing up-to-date about family news. Hmmm. I might get around to that sometime in January.
Also my ex-husband has been in touch, and some of the three teens (his children) are thinking about responding to his approaches now that he's separated from his latest wife, with whom they didn't get along. Well, for me that's not likely to mean anything but trouble, but if it's what they need to do then of course they must do it.
Many things have changed since we last saw him (in court) five years ago - the main thing being that Tom, Ali and Zara are old enough not to need me to be involved in any arrangements. He also can't do anything to try to force them back into school or into care now, we don't think, although he might well try to cause those kind of problems with their younger siblings.
I just can't help being cynical and thinking, yes, NOW he has no wife to share Christmas with, he suddenly remembers he has three children. But I'll have to be strict with myself and consider the whole thing to be none of my business now (huge relief that is), because I refuse to be upset by him again. I've done my very best with them all and I think they're sufficiently wise and resilient to not be damaged by him either.
We'll see.
We've heard from lots of people who haven't been in touch for months and years, including several old friends who obviously need bringing up-to-date about family news. Hmmm. I might get around to that sometime in January.
Also my ex-husband has been in touch, and some of the three teens (his children) are thinking about responding to his approaches now that he's separated from his latest wife, with whom they didn't get along. Well, for me that's not likely to mean anything but trouble, but if it's what they need to do then of course they must do it.
Many things have changed since we last saw him (in court) five years ago - the main thing being that Tom, Ali and Zara are old enough not to need me to be involved in any arrangements. He also can't do anything to try to force them back into school or into care now, we don't think, although he might well try to cause those kind of problems with their younger siblings.
I just can't help being cynical and thinking, yes, NOW he has no wife to share Christmas with, he suddenly remembers he has three children. But I'll have to be strict with myself and consider the whole thing to be none of my business now (huge relief that is), because I refuse to be upset by him again. I've done my very best with them all and I think they're sufficiently wise and resilient to not be damaged by him either.
We'll see.
posted by Gill at 2:18 pm
3 Comments:
well done on the Xmas stuff!
Yes I think you'll find it easier now the childen are older. Well hopefully. I did when Meg got older and she could and can make her own arrangments with her dad. Good job cos he moved back to HB when she was about 14!
Thanks Rosie.
Yes I just hope they don't expect me to be sociable and friendly with him after he spent quite some months trying to persuade courts and officials that I was an unfit mother and our children should be in care, out of sheer spite. Luckily nobody took him seriously (except me).
But in the forgiving and forgetting stakes, this would be my biggest challenge yet.
Update: Ali is talking about taking his dog and going to *live* with his dad. Apparently he feels the dog would have more freedom there and he'd have more peace (away from babies and toddlers) in which to work.
I was shocked and upset at first, until I thought: Mmmmmmm. That means our master bedroom would be empty...!
The darker the cloud, the more silver its lining ^^
I wonder if that's exactly what ex-husband had in mind when he sent his xmas card + phone number and plea to get in touch? ;-)
Ah well, we'll see what the future brings.
Post a Comment
<< Home